please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
