Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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