Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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