She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
