Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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