you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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