Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
