he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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