The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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