Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
