you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
