actually, I'm a sock model
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
