go do what you do best...puke behind churches
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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