Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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