i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
