i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
