what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
