thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Boobs are out for the taking
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
