Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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