Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
