And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
His hands were made for my vagina.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
