Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize