Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
