May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
