Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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