she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
