your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
