Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
