Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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