Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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