can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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