Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
