im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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