dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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