I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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