sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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