i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
