She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I can't turn off my feet"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize