i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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