genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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