What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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