Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
