They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
