So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
