I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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