Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
