and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize