So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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