I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
