Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
