just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
